The Rangers stood in formation. Emotions swirl in every mom's chest at times like this, but today it was my chest. The silence whispered holiness. The First Sergeant's voice broke the silence with a roll call.
"Sgt. Joyce" ................ (silence) 

"Sgt. James Joyce" .............. (silence) 

"Sgt. James Casey Joyce" .............. 

"Not present, First Sgt. Killed in Action. Mogadishu, Somalia, October 3, 1993."
I swallowed a sob. Taps played. 

This was "Final Roll Call" (a special ceremony performed when a soldier in a unit is killed) at a memorial service at Fort Benning, Georgia. It honored the six Rangers who were killed in the battle known as "Black Hawk Down." 

That memory haunts me still. More than when Larry, my husband, told me over the phone that Casey was dead. I was in California; he was in Chicago. More than having the circumstances of Casey's death repeated again and again during a debriefing by eight young men with whom he served; more than his highly publicized burial at Arlington National Cemetery; even more than his memorial service in Plano, Texas (his hometown)-this memory continues to stop my heart. 

But this Memorial Day, as I remember Casey, I have many, wonderful memories as well. 

August 15, 1969, the day James Casey Joyce was born at Ft. Rucker, Alabama. Larry and I hadn't planned to have more children. Steve and Saucy were 9 and 7 and we thought our family was complete. But, life happens and so did Casey. 

Growing up, he was precocious, stubborn, funny and had the most infectious smile. Larry, a career Army· officer, had been absent when the other two were little; so he delighted in helping raise Casey. Larry was Casey's best friend. When Casey got married, Larry was his best man. Later, Larry delivered Casey's eulogy at his memorial service in Plano. 

I remember Casey's many stints as a mascot. His dad coached and his big brother played youth football on every military post where we lived. From the time he was six weeks old until he was eight Casey was always the mascot of the football team. 

I remember him as a happy, fun-loving teenager, always bringing his friends home. I remember when he left for basic training. He had to get all four wisdom teeth pulled and I wasn't there to take care of him! I remember his wedding-how happy he was. I remember when he finished Ranger School, came home and gave me marching orders for breakfast. 

"Eggs, bacon, sausage, gravy, biscuits, chocolate chip pancakes, orange juice, his grandmother's pound cake, and a chocolate milkshake," he ordered and ate every last bite. 

I remember the last time we saw him alive--July 8, 1993. It was the Ranger Muster at Fort Benning. Casey participated in several military exercises. Afterwards we played games, watched silly movies, talked a lot and laughed more. It was a magical weekend. 

Casey was a hero. He saved a fellow Ranger's life. He made sure that the seriously wounded, PFC Blackbum was successfully evacuated. As he returned to his position, Casey was shot in the back and died instantly. 

I lost a part of myself that day, but I have these wonderful memories of him that wi11 be with me forever. And, I am grateful for the 24 years we had him with us. 

Gold Star Mom, Gail Joyce works tirelessly to honor heroes like her son and to support veterans around the world. She is facilitating the Field of Flags at the Granbury :S US Veterans Museum Memorial Day activities. Gail lives in Pecan Plantation, between Granbury and Glen Rose. They first bought property here in 1981 and she has lived in Granbury full time since 1998. She speaks to many organizations about the Gold Star moms and the gift of fighting for freedom that her son gave to the world. 

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